Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
