Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
