I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Text me some of your sweat
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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