would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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