Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
