Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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