Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
