that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
