haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
