You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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