My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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