how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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