But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
