where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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