He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
