No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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