I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
