i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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