Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
