Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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