He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
