Need sex. Gaining weight.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
