That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
