just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
