Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
