i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize