Don't you send me to vm
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sext me about skeletons
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
