I want to walk on stilts...naked
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
