I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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