hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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