So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
