i was rollin on her like bob the builder
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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