He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
