the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
