I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
