Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
