He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Oh god it's open bar.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
