I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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