just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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