no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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