dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
