i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize