I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
