The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
