4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
