Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If that was your dad, he is hot
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
