walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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