Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
