office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
