you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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