Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
