He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
