This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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