you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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