if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
