Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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