Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
