can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
even my farts smell like vagina
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
